06 Nov, 2023 Family relationships – an under-utilised gateway
Family, marriage and parenting – an under-utilised gateway
(An article by Dave from the ‘Outreach Today’ 2024 publication presenting a vision for the united Church)
The relational needs of families have never been greater in our nation. Meanwhile, God’s Word and people are loaded of wisdom for marriages and parenting. This is also a gateway for the gospel. What if our churches became more intentional in this area?
To consider the under-utilised resource that is in our hands – there are people within churches right across New Zealand who have wisdom regarding marriage and parenting, and for whom this topic is a primary passion. What if we were to release more of these people to serve in this specific area, bringing training and support to marriage and parenting – with both our church members and the wider communities in view?
To consider the scope of this ‘gateway’:
- Marriage: Half of all adults are married in NZ – who might be interested in a marriage course.
- Pre-marriage: Over 18,000 couples get married each year – who are potentially interested in pre-marriage courses. This is statistically proven to help marriages last!
- Parenting: 58,000 children were born last year. That’s 58,000 sets of parents who might be interested in parenting courses related to babies, then toddlers, then children and eventually teenagers.
- Divorce recovery: About 7,500 couples divorced last year. That’s 15,000 adults suffering pain who might benefit from a divorce recovery course.
- Grief recovery: About 38,500 people died last year. That’s a lot of people who could benefit from a course on dealing with grief!
We live in an age of broken families, struggling parents – and unavoidable pain.
When we serve communities in these areas, we’re helping in areas that are relevant to maybe 3/4 or more of the population!
This is an underutilised connection point in our Christian witness and service!
Regarding other possible courses – specialist help could also be offered to solo mums or even teens growing up in solo-parent homes… There are weblink to various courses churches could run below.
- Given that half of all NZ children grow up without their biological father in the home, there is no question these are real needs – and could endear attendance if promotions connect with these felt needs, with a positive, non-judgemental / welcoming tone.
- To be clear – courses would not be a promotion of Christianity. They are about helping in areas in which we ALL could benefit from a helping hand or some encouragement.
- The ‘lesson’ for churches together here is this: We are sometimes wise to know how to work with both the left hand and right.
- Bridges can be built and a positivity toward our churches generated within a community. In our times this has real value.
In application – to consider as churches in each city and town:
- What help could local churches offer to meet needs in the above areas?
- (Who within your congregations has a natural passion for that area – who might relish the opportunity if invited and supported?)
- How could churches collaborate together, to potentially offer a wider range of options to their communities each year together?
As an idea for churches together
A full compliment of various courses could be promoted via letterboxes annually – maybe with the idea of running courses in the following two school terms.
- A note to ‘register interest – and we’ll remind you 1 month prior’ could be included – enabling a timely contact for a course starting 3 months later.
- Each course could then be promoted via social media, utilising paid boosting, with your locality specified for those.
- This would reflect a Church that is present
- …and a Church that is engaged with real needs.
Both of these are powerful – even without someone attending a course!
In summary: This area is a gateway for connections and reputation – gained through engaging together to provide valuable help and encouragement in a genuinely important area. And there are likely people in nearly every church for whom this will be a primary passion!
MARRIAGE/FAMILY MINISTRIES TO NOTE (alphabetically listed)
Alpha
– Course: Marriage For both marriage and pre-marriage, to help couples invest in their relationships and build strong marriages.
– Course: Parenting A series of five sessions to provide practical support in parenting children or teenagers.
Family Life
–Conference: Weekend to Remember is a time of enriching and renewal for married couples.
–Conference: Marriage on Mission (12-13 September) Their new conference that brings a unique and powerful message to couples desiring to be used by God together in their communities.
–Event: Blended Family Couples This event is for couples in blended families, focusing on understanding the unique challenges and how they impact relationships.
Focus on the Family
–Assessment: 7 Traits of Effective Parenting What are your strengths as a parent? In what areas could you grow? This short research-based assessment will help you find out both.
–Video Series: Launch Into the Teen Years a video-based program created to get you and your preteen talking about how to make great decisions and soar with confidence through these crucial years.
–Assessment: Marriage We want marriages to be thriving and healthy. Take a free marriage assessment to identify the key areas where your marriage could use improvement and the tools that will help you strengthen your bond with your spouse.
–Articles & Resources To support families and help them to grow and thrive.
Parenting Place
–Various Online Courses A variety of online courses to help support parenting at different ages and through different challenges.
–Podcasts/Articles/resources To inspire, equip and support thriving and connected whānau throughout Aotearoa.
Other possible courses – available internationally
–Course: Single & Parenting A free 13-week video-based course which provides tips and parenting wisdom. Can be done individually or as part of a small group.
–Course/Support group: DivorceCare A 13-week, video-based support group program designed to guide people on the path of recovery after separation or divorce. Can be run within your church or as part of a combined church program.
–Course/Programme: DivorceCare for Kids A free 13-week program for children (ages 5–12) experiencing parental separation or divorce. Through fun activities, music, and crafts, kids learn to express their feelings, connect with their parents, and find strength in God’s love. Ideal for use at home or in a church small group.
–Course/Support Group: GriefShare This 13-week group offers guidance on what to expect during grief, practical coping strategies, and ongoing support. It can be run in your church or as part of a combined church program.
Other possible courses – via Rightnow Media
–Video Series & Workbook: Prepare to Parent A video and workbook series consisting of four sessions to inspire and equip new parents.
–Video Series & Guide: Raising Sons of Promise A Video series and free study guide for Single Mothers of Boys.
–Video Series & Guide: Visionary Parenting A five-part series and a participant guide to encourage and support single parents.
Other possible courses – New Zealand
-Prepare-Enrich Provides expert facilitators to guide couples in gaining insights, building skills, and creating positive change.
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For other articles by Dave on the same topic of – CHURCH UNITY
2024 – The LID of our unity is in what we can SEE
2024 – To further unity there is a needed context
2024 – SLT Leadership statement – Nest areas we intend to innovate within
2024 – Attitudes that sustain unity
2024 – How is the strength of unity to be measured?
2024 – Application from the Bible Society’s new data
2023 – A unity reflection: What if we were more strategic in our PRAYER
2023 – Roy Crowne – A voice for unity – Unity finding its voice in the CITY
2023 – Fresh vision for local Church unity
2023 – Invercargill’s Community Service Day – a unity story
2023 – Family relationships – an under-utilised gateway
2023 – The election is over – so WHAT NOW? (A specific strategic proposal)
2023 – For a united Church – there are leaders we cannot see
2023 – “Mistaken” – An offensive comical parable? Why?
2023 – “Mistaken” – A comical parable about unity
2023 – Four characteristics of leaders who take city-wide unity from talk to action
2023 – The quiet before the storm (Perspectives that shape how we lead)
2023 – STORY: How Gisborne churches united to serve their flood-affected region
2023 – STORY: NZ churches can shine when it counts (Napier flood report)
2022 – One Church? FIVE factors that enable pastors’ groups to turn theory into practice
2022 – A SWOT Analysis of the NZ Church in relation to its outreach
2022 – Four national goals that can be easy ‘wins’ together
2022 – A vocabulary we can agree on (This one is a particularly important FOUNDATION if coherent national discussions on unity are to one day take place)
2022 – Principles for managing necessary agenda in pastors’ groups
2022 – Introducing ‘HeLP Project’ (for pastors’ groups) – the what and the why
2022 – Key pulpit themes in view of the global reset (Finding direction in changing times)
2020 – It’s time to take responsibility to educate our own children and youth again (On united direction and strategy – for city change)
2020 – Kingdom minded – It’s more radical than many think
2020 – STORY – The Auckland delivery
2020 – A need for new media platforms – not more voices (How do we address the increasingly left-leaning and also anti-faith bias of public media?)
2020 – A vision for national Church unity (What might REALISTICALLY be within our reach to achiEve – if we merely thought differently?)
2019 – ‘In One Spirit’ – The purpose of the book (Written at the time of the book launch and press release)
2019 ‘In One Spirit’ – full book FREE online
2019 – United we stand (A blog just prior to the release of the above book, ‘In One Spirit’)
2017 – Pastors’ groups – a home visitation idea (best suiting smaller towns)
2017 – The call to influence culture (It’s about the way we think)
DAVE MANN. Dave is a networker and creative communicator with a vision to see an understanding of the Christian faith continuing and also being valued in the public square in Aotearoa-New Zealand. He has innovated numerous conversational resources for churches, and has coordinated various national nationwide multimedia Easter efforts purposed to open up conversations between church and non-church people about the Christian faith and its significance to our nation’s history and values. Dave is the Producer of the ‘Chronicles of Paki’ illustrated NZ history series created for educational purposes, and the author of various other books and booklets including “Because we care”, “That Leaders might last” and “The Elephant in the Room”. Married to Heather, they have four boys and reside in Tauranga, New Zealand.